Listening

We enjoy talking and communicating with one another. Some of us enjoy talking more than others do. The funny thing is we do so much talking that we forget how to listen.

When I talk about listening, I am talking about really listening by paying attention to everything a person is saying before cutting them off. I find that talkative people cannot help themselves sometimes when it comes to cutting someone off in mid sentence.

We can do more to be effective in our listening. Here is an outstanding new trick I use called visually pushing the mute button. Whenever you are pushing the mute button on yourself, visualize pushing the remote control mute button on yourself. I know it can be hard for some. When you give yourself a powerful picture of a situation it is easier to understand and do. I will talk about the power of metaphors tomorrow that you do not want to miss.

Stop speaking and start listening attentively. We can learn so much about a person, situation, item, business deal, etc. when we listen attentively. Pushing the mute button helps us greater understand what is being said to us without prejudice.

Secondly, the next way we can learn to listen effectively is by imagining that you are a sponge soaking up all that the person is sharing with you. Whether they are both good and bad. A sponge soaks up spills. When communicating with someone absorb what they say allowing yourself to be filled with what they have just shared with you. A sponge keeps on absorbing. Think of yourself as a sponge that keeps absorbing what they are saying.

There are some things that you may not agree with but just hear them out. Allow them to share with you that which is on their minds.

If you fail to do so, you are merely talking to someone. Talking is being selfish while communicating is sharing information.

There are millions of talkers in the world. Where are my millions of communicators? Those who are masters at the art of give and take in communication.

Third, we must become reporters recapping the highlights of the words they shared with us trying to capture the meaning for clarity. When a person we are speaking to stops, we should make sure they are finished making their statement. Start recapping the vital points they shared with us before beginning to respond.

We can paraphrase what they shared with us in our opening response to their statements or thoughts. This lets the person know that we are being attentive to their words. It also enhances the other parties respect for us.

As reporters, recapping the highlights of their words we also ask the most effective questions to our listeners. Questions that deal with all four levels of communicating.

The 4 Levels of Communication

1. Facts-What are the facts? Just the facts Ma'am

2. Meaning-What does it all mean?

3. Feelings-How does that make you feel?

4. Intent- What are your intentions?T

Listening attentively to people allows us all to go deeper into all four levels of communication. It is extremely beneficial to all parties involved.